I found myself discussing with a good friend the way sometimes archeologists make a find and jump quickly to the conclusion it had religious significance. A bog man is found and of course he was sacrificed, a building whose function is unclear must have been a temple and art on cave walls is clearly magically intended. Similarly it can be amazing to see the pages written by modern heathens on topics that have very scant primary references. Which is not to say that the archeologists are wrong, or that the heathens aren't using upg (unsubstantiated personal gnossis) to good effect, but it does sometimes seem a bit much. anyway I found myself using an analogy of what these same standards might "reveal" were the same "assumptions" applied to our modern lives. Imagine the curious and misleading outcomes we would get if we started to assume that all things unexplainable were clearly religious. And being a tongue in cheek sort of lad I put finger to keyboard and came up with this. A nonsense article entitled ...
Evidence of a shed goddess cult in contemporary Australian culture. its not intended to be serious or particular enlightening, just a bit of fun.... so with no further ado....
Evidence of a shed goddess cult in contemporary Australian culture.
"a modern rite undertaken by men involves retreating to a special ritual place called a "shed." This structure was often placed away from the main living areas thus showing it had religious purposes and was “set apart” for this reason. The main area of the shed is often warded with various items such as old car parts, vinyl record collections, old sporting trophies and lawnmowers that don’t start, among other items of little practical use. From this we may deduce that their function was ritualistic and served to hallow the space for ritual and to discourage intrusion by the uninitiated. Women folk were actively discouraged from entering the shed, though various magazines and calendars have been found suggesting a pervading belief in a shed goddess whose worship may have occurred there. It may be deduced that these relics relate to the goddess aspect as the depictions are stylized with body shapes not representative of real women and clothing is either absent or of a clearly ritualized nature. The postures of the goddess’s suggest some sort of fertility role though in some depictions the figures are seen holding power tools or adorning vehicles of one sort of another. It is reasonable to assume therefore that the shed goddess was related to sexuality, power tools and all things mechanical.
Often a beer fridge is a central feature and stored here to ensure informal blots could be performed and this relic was of singular importance. Men visiting another’s shed to partake in ritual will bring offerings for the fridge and it is considered a mortal sin to remove the last alcoholic beverage from another’s fridge.
Specific clothing was often worn in the shed, old and treasured garments and the ritual nature of these robes may be determined by their holy state and that they were not worn in public. Men attempting to wear shed clothes out in public were often admonished by their family’s and told “your not wearing that out in public!”
Anthropologists have also noted that dogs were often welcome in sheds, where other family members were not. This has lead some to suggest that dogs were linked closely to the shed cult and may have been perceived as companion animals to the shed goddess. Primary sources indicate that the dog was considered “mans best friend” and many a man was known to retreat to “the doghouse” during inter household arguments. It is possible that the shed was a later extension of the doghouse but this doesn’t match archaeological evidence that doghouses and sheds seem to have coexisted in even the earliest of Australian excavations.
Men use shed space to seek answers to questions, undertake private worship of the goddess and attempt to auger answers on why their car (or lawnmower) is not working properly. Given the lack recorded incidents of lawnmowers becoming functional it must be concluded that their use in this manner was mainly symbolic and it has been speculated that they served as a way of containing evil spirits and the numerous curses that were often directed at them. A variety of ritual objects are used in a shed ritual, including specialized tools including hammers, and galdor (spoken magic) was used to evoke the gods, shed wrights and spirits of the machine, (whose parentage was often questioned.) During the particularly potent “Ah F*^&$%& it” rite the hammer is struck onto the supporting hand of the practitioner which leads to an altered state of awareness and particularly potent form of galdor. Variants of this rite are recorded using shifters and bringing the knuckles into contact with metal surfaces. There has been speculations as to weather this blood rite is a variant or evidence or part of a separate cult.
The shed formed a vital role in the household, used for cementing relationships between the men of the community and served as a sanctuary in times of household strife or war."
Now all I need is a university willing to offer me a phd studying the phenomenum, a big shed and of course lots of ice cold "offerings" ;-) hey weirder things have been funded before :-)
